2003 Season - Cougars get Stamped

Cougars get stamped but leave their own stamp on Calgary.

It was with much anticipation that 30 odd players and spectators of the Vancouver Cougars Football Club boarded various planes and cars for the trip over to our provincial neighbors in Calgary for the 1st Stampede Cup. Leading up to the big clash, there was some disappointment within the club with the news that the late withdrawal of Santa Cruz meant that the Cup would only be a two team event with just Vancouver and Calgary to duke it out. Still, when it then dawned on the boys that it meant a massive Saturday night could be had after the game, the disappointment soon began to turn to a brewing exuberance and excitement.

The preparation couldn’t have been better. The team arrived in downtown Calgary on the Friday night, with the majority settling into the Ramada Hotel. After a quick feed, like moths to a flame, the boys were quickly drawn to the loud music blaring out of the beer garden of Ceili’s Irish bar only two blocks away. It may have been the day before a big clash, but everyone knows beer contains plenty of carbo’s so naturally, the boys should be loading up on as many carbo’s as possible!! It wasn’t long before the boys were being entertained by “Crazy Chair dancing man” and a “quiet 2 or 3 pints” were being downed by the gathered throng. Cougar’s runner Brendan “Slim” Keyhoe, seemed happy to lead the consumption (especially considering he knew he wasn’t playing the next day). Still, the purpose of the trip was to play footy, and most of the crew sensibly tucked themselves into bed just a tick after midnight.

…all but one it seemed. The next morning SuperCoach Grills arrived at the Ramada in preparation for his big team meeting perfectly in time to observe none other than Cougars “ladies man” Jim Utting being escorted back to the Ramada by one of Calgary’s finest (unconfirmed) fillies. SuperCoach Grills appeared quietly pleased that one of his star player’s had gone to extraordinary lengths to ensure that he was properly loosened up, stretched and exercised for the big game ahead.

In preparation for the big game, Grills created a new formula to get the boys fired up and excited. This time it was in the form of a semi-formal team meeting in which he discussed the key tactical moves that would be needed to post a winning score in the big game against Calgary. He also took the time to quiz Jimmy on how he had used his own tactical moves to enable him to post a winning score the night before.

After the formalities were done, the boys headed off to Marlborough Park for the big game. As the bus cruised into the carpark, it quickly dawned on the boys that a pair of binoculars might be required to see the other end of the ground because …it was HUGE. A quick pacing revealed a massive 180 metre ground!! What was also slightly alarming was arriving to see at least five of the Calgary boys with shovels trying to dig out large rocks and pieces of bitumen out of the surface. Still, it was fairly flat, very hard and would ensure a free flowing game was had.

The day was a scorcher, and the mood electric as the boys conducted their pre-game warm up and got themselves ready for the big clash. The Cougars hit the field with their largest ever contingent of Canadians on the field (10 out of 18 players) a great sign for football development in Vancouver.

The Game

As expected, from the opening bounce, players were able to find space and the ball was flowing freely around the ground. As expected, the Roos centreline was dominate and sent many a thrust forward. The Cougars backline was brilliant and kept the ball out time and time again. The Guru was relishing his position back on the flank and coupled as ever with his old mate Coops, they got plenty of touches throughout the day. The SuperCoach threw in young Canadians Morgs, Horychun, Cam and Mark into the mix and they got themselves involved in a big way, while Ice Block was an inspiration sweeping across the half backline.

Through the centre, Ladies man Utting was playing like a man possessed. He constantly threw his body on the line time and time again getting in a few scuffles that would have made Fists proud. SuperCoach Grills quietly nodded in appreciation given Jimmy’s early morning escapades and believed a new pre-game training method had just presented itself.

When the ball went forward, Brad Gill took a nice grab that lead to the Glamour Boy slotting an easy goal, and COBS (Cousin of Bobby Skilton) McFalane slotted truly to keep the Cougars close.
Q1 Calgary 2.7.19 to Cougars 2.0.12

Kicking against a strong wind in the second quarter, the ball spent a lot of time in the backline with the boys doing whatever it took to send the ball back out. Big John and the SuperCoach were taking many a grab across the backline and sent the ball back up into the forwardline. Jimmy and Happy Noel Freeman were linking through the centre well with the Wiz, Nelson, Dave Taylor and Mark Robertson getting into the mix.

At half time, the Cougars were still in it.

Half Time Calgary 5.9.39 to Cougars 2.1.13

With the sun beating down the players from both teams seemed to be getting weary, but no-one was giving up. Glamour Boy moved into the centre to give a bit of spark and hit Cobs McFarlane who had just come off the bench with a gashed knee (that later required 8 stitches) with a nice pass that lead to an early goal. Big Tommy continued to toil magnificently in the ruck in substitution with Aaron (a.k.a. Jaryod from Subway) Winkler who was trying his guts out. Jimmy continued to throw his body on the line and picked up some nice grabs through the centre. Still, Calgary held strong and went into the last with a handy lead.

3 quarter time Calgary 7.10.52 to Cougars 3.3.21

In one of the best displays by the Cougars all year, despite being well down, the team never gave up and continued to fight to the end. Last gamer Nelson fired up across the centre, taking many a grab and delivering the ball long. SuperCoach Grills and Goalsneak Jase were providing a spark up forward with Grills kicking a booming goal, while Terrier Horychun roved the forwardline magnificently, baulked an opponent and snagged a great goal to give the cougars a sniff. It was not to be though, and as time ran out, the roos had won comfortably.

Final Score Calgary 8.13.61 to Cougars 5.4.34.

Goals – Cobs McFarlane (2), Glamour Boy (1), SuperCoach (1), Terrier (1).
Best (from)– Ladies Man, Hoady, SuperCoach, Ferret, Ice Block, Coops, Glamour Boy, Terrier.

Post Game

Feeling a tad wearer after the big clash, there was simply nothing better than moving the Cougars game plan to the next target – getting out and consuming a massive amount of alcohol. The Ramada crew headed back to the hotel to ready themselves for the big night ahead. An impromptu pool party was organised and the boys were soon enjoying a refreshing dip whilst casually downing a few refreshing ale’s. Dave Taylor entertained the masses with some crushing belly whackers that removed a good few inches out of the pool. Adopted Cougar, Subway Winkler was almost banned from the club for life after – a) daring to once again bring out his shocking red MC Hammer parachute pants – after he had already been strictly forbidden from doing so and b) launching himself into the pool, getting the pants wet, and then prancing around outside while they were skin tight. Not a pretty sight. It was enough to disperse the pool party and move the gathering on to The Flying Emu Pub.

The pub choice of the Calgary boys was a treat. It was not only a block away from the Ramada, but it proved a great touch of home for many as it was decked out in Australiana and the beer list consisted of many an Aussie brew. It was no surprise that pretty well by 7pm on the dot, the entire Cougars team was already in the pub trying to destroy the pub’s supply of VB’s and Coldies, while the Calgary boys slowly meandered into the pub.

As the beers became more numerous, so did the recollection of the exploits of the day, with many a long story told and retold. The Roos took great delight in presenting themselves with the Stampede Cup (…as I guess we did with the BC Cup). The Ump’s gave the Cougars 3,2,1 to final gamer Nelson, Jimmy and Horychun. We may not have won the Trophy, but at least we took all the prizes in the raffle!! And so, with the formalities over, it was time to move on to bigger and better venues. It was time – for Cowboy’s.

Post, Post Game

The Cougars throng headed on to Cowboys nightclub, a massive nightclub famous for it’s loving bar owner who supply’s any of his female bartender’s with free boob jobs once they reach 2 years of service. Well it’s fair to say that there must have been a fair few long term employees behind the bar because there was enough silicon around to fill a bathtub. If there wasn’t already enough motivation to get a few drinks into the system, there certainly was at least two new extremely large reasons’ to keep venturing back to the bar.

Not all the Cougar’s managed to run amok inside. Unfortunately young Cougar Morg’s de Chalin hit a snag when, only an agonizing few days before becoming legal, the bouncers KB’d him from entering the establishment. They then refused to let in accompanying Glamour Boy Vargo, Chops McGrath and Happy Noel Freeman, believing they had tried to sneak in a minor. Despite having a few beers under the belt, they were smart enough to leave quietly and not draw undue attention to themselves. The boys were not going to be denied, and after a few quick ales at Ceili’s next door, one by one the boys duped the bouncers by returning half and hour later and walking straight in. Morg’s remained at Ceili’s alone, and unconfirmed rumors have it that he wasn’t alone for very long and was soon privately entertaining a couple of nice young ladies…

Back at Cowboys, as a collectively unit, the Cougar boys (and associated Cougette’s) were running amok. In no time, the boys had latched on to the shooter girl and received shooter after shooter which involved leaning back into the lap of the lovely young blonde, only to have the shooter poured down your throat. Just to wash it down, she then proceeded to dish out a titty rub. Surprising, Goalsneak Jase was seen going back time and time again….

With the throng becoming collectively more and more jovial, the group headed on mass to the dancefloor. With the DJ pumping out some classics, there was plenty of line dancing, podium dancing, dirty dancing...you name it. Cougars lady man Jim Utting quickly whipped off his shirt to carve up the dance floor in a Muscle-T. SuperCoach Grills decided to be the new Jimmy and proceeded to don his picking up shirt. The chain reaction was almost immediate. In no time, the Glamour Boy decided – that looks like fun and exchanged shirts with the SuperCoach. For the next 2 hours, the Cougars throng amused and perplexed the surrounding patrons as 20 players and supporters were stripping off in the middle of the dancefloor and constantly exchanging tops. The highlights were numerous – Jimmy in Fiona’s pink and red blouse, SuperCoach Stu in wife Laura’s top, Goalsneak and Big John in the leather vest, Willie Nelson in the black see-through hoody. Slightly disturbing though was Dave Taylor and Simon Ice Block’s attachment to the tight white tops they were wearing, which stayed on looonngg after the T-Shirt swapping finally ended.

As always you can trust one player to take things to far. In the middle of a shirt swap, Happy Noel Freeman swears he heard someone call for a pants swap as well, and in surprising quick time (like he’d done it all to many times before) he was standing in the middle of Cowboy’s dancefloor with ALL his clothes around his ankles. As camera’s seemed to appear from nowhere, it was soon discovered that Happy had in fact been told to drop his dacks by the bride from a nearby group on a Hen’s night. Happy certainly didn’t seem too fazed and was later heard to say “bet they didn’t think that Christmas would come early for them this year”.

In no time it seemed, the bar finally calling last drinks, and the Cougars were forced to call it stumps and most headed back to the Ramada.

Post, Post, Post Game

Naturally it wasn’t long before an impromptu pool party was organized and the party continued on in Prez Chops McGrath’s room. In record time security was summons to quieten down the Cougars by dozens of other guests who didn’t take to kindly to 20 Cougars drinking/chatting and mucking around the pool at three in the morning. Naturally the security guard was ignored and the party went on. In a freakish incident, a weary Happy Freeman who had already retired to bed worse for wear, was involuntarily revived by Jimmy and picked up from his bed, carried down the hallway, and sent poolward’s at a rate of knots with Ice Block in assistance. Inches from the pool, Happy collected his senses and tired to made an exit by taking a sharp leap to the left. Unfortunately with all his momentum he ended up crashing into the side of the pool, thankfully with nothing more than a bruised shoulder and a blood nose (he was always going to hit that big hooter of his). What had originally seemed highly amusing, was quickly non-funny and was enough to sober up a fair few people. With the third visit from local security, the night finally wound down…

The next day

The morning saw the lobby inundated with calls from rooms on the 3rd floor requesting late check out times as the toll started to kick in from the night before. Around noon a sorry 20 or so players and fans rose on mass and headed for a big feed. If some of the boys were feeling seedy already, the sight of Brad’s underwear on the side of the road (they had been hurled, for reason still unclear, from the third floor pool deck the night before) was enough to put most over the edge. One Cougar however stayed behind as none other than Mark “of Cain” Robertson informed the boys he had “a date” with a nice young fillie he had met the night before and was headed to the zoo (no doubt for a bit of monkey business!) of all places. After a hearty breakfast, it was naturally on to more beers at a local bar and at the airport before the flight back home.

All up, a great weekend. Thanks to Calgary for organizing the tournament and to all the work done by the committee (particularly Chops) to getting the Cougar crew organized. Obviously it was great for all the players to make the trip, but a big time thanks to the supporters who made the trip over to support the team.